nycdilettante

“All You Ever Wanted To Know About Life After High School” but no one would ever tell you

1. Perfection is overrated.  Make mistakes.

I know this sounds ridiculous…however…the way you figure life out is to make mistakes and live “messy”.  I have done things that you could say were “mistakes” and poor choices.  But those choices made me who I am today in many ways.  A little braver than I would have been had I decided to never push myself to do something different.  All in all…it’s the choices you make that are risky and scary that push you to see who you really are.  They can lead to big falls…but also to really big wins.  So live messy and challenge the person you think you are to see who you might be.  Screw up a little.  Nothing major though.  I’d avoid addiction to heroin. Just a thought.

2. Save money.  Don’t get a credit card unless you can pay it off as you charge on it.

This is very Depression-era of me…BUT…save a little bit of money along with what you spend.  If you save a buck a day…it adds up and when something big comes up…an opportunity to travel or something sucky like you have a car that explodes…you’ll have something in your back pocket.  When I got out of college…I charged a lot of stuff so I could have clothes to wear to work and in grad school…I had to charge some of my books and pay my tuition on credit.  I’m about to pay off my last credit card…and that’s only b/c I got some help paying off my student loans.  If that hadn’t happened…I would not have been able to buy the condo I have.  Which I NEVER thought I’d be able to own my own place…which is cool.  But anyhow…save something up and don’t spend what you don’t have.  You pay it back in the end…with interest. 

3. Try new things.  Throw yourself at life.

When I was younger…I was scared of everything.  I didn’t want to order at a MacDonald’s because I was scared to talk to people I didn’t know.  I didn’t like to answer phones…I had a lot of fears.  But at some point…I sort of sucked it up and pushed past it.  I’ve tried a LOT of stuff that scared me.  I moved to states where I knew no one.  I fell in love with a guy and threw myself into that…I left a good job…my family and followed him off.  I didn’t get married like I thought would happen…but I met a lot of interesting people, realized I could drive all over creation and not die.  That led to going to graduate school, moving to DC, then NY, then back.  I went to

Europe

this year and last year I bought a condo.  Never things I figured I could do alone.  But I did…and I have no way of knowing what I’ll do next.  I still get scared of things…heights truly freak me out…but I know that I have to push on to do new things even in my old age.  Doing it when you are young should be a lot easier. 

4. Watch it with the drugs and alcohol.

So…here’s the thing about college.  You do a lot of stuff…you drink…you might smoke some weed or something like that.  Most people do a little of that and move on to have a normal life.  However, some people don’t.  They can’t stop drinking or doing drugs and what sucks is…you usually don’t know if you fall into that crew until you are in the middle of doing it.  I can’t say…don’t ever do it…because seriously….most people do.  But if it starts to get crazy…ask for help.  I had a great roommate freshman year…but she liked drugs way too much and she sort of disappeared into that.  She was a super cool girl and I miss her.  I hope you don’t run into a lot of that…it sucks. 

5. Make good friends and keep in touch with them.

My best friends are the girls I met in college.  Now…I went to 4 different high schools…we moved around a lot just then so I didn't have a long term relationship with friends like you might.  However, I think the people you know in college are the people that you change the most with…hence…you are the closest to them as you age.  My friends Lori, Mary, Nora and Shannon know me like no one else.  They have watched me throw myself at stupid boys, studied with me, and we accept each other despite our flaws.  And it’s perfectly okay.  Their families are my family and vice versa. 

6. Take care of your body and stay in shape.

I say this because I am old and out of shape…overweight and finding that in my forties…my body has given up on me.  I cannot get back into shape without so much work it is depressing and I could cry about it.  If you're in shape...keep up with it and you can be like Eartha Kitt when you are 70…able to do splits and dance on stage just like you did when you were 20.  It’s a gift.  If you aren't in shape...find something fun to do and get in shape in your 20's.  It's hard to do later!

7. Try new foods and don’t eat a lot of processed gunk.

I am not saying be Anthony Bourdain and eat food with the aborigines in the bush.  I am saying…learn to cook and to enjoy food.  Processed food is going to kill us all…I could go on about how corn is evil and destroying our bodies but that might be scary.  I will say that fresh food you make yourself is a gift…so enjoy that and stretch your taste buds.  Sushi is compelling…but so is French food, Thai food, Vietnamese, etc, etc.  Try stuff you never have eaten before and see what happens.

8. Find something to do (work or a hobby) that you are passionate about.

My Grandmother was a passionate quilter.  However before she started to quilt, she went through a lot of hobbies.  She knew how to cane chairs, sew, reupholster furniture, she did knitting, crochet, decoupage, needlepoint, embroidery…but when she found quilting…that was it.  It was her passion, she embraced it and she was amazing at it.  Find that for yourself because it will keep you young forever.  Keep yourself alive by finding a passion to keep yourself young.  I know when you're in your teens "staying young" seems stupid but...trust me...it's important.

9. Never stop learning.

Getting out of high school or college should not be the end of learning.  There are lots of studies about staying young by challenging your brain.  Crossword puzzles and sudoku are supposed to be great for that.  I hate both of them. 

Reading

should be enough to keep your brain young.  The internet is full of crap…but it is amazing the technological advances that are being made out there.  When I have to work on a new software package or stuff…it’s not easy for me.  But my friend Melissa who is 22…she knows shortcuts I don’t…she can text better than me…but I keep trying to keep up. I'm trying to stay young. 

10. Love the person you are and don’t compare yourself to other people.

As a society we always compare ourselves to other people.  Usually it’s celebs and I want to tell you…they are just as messed up and stupid as we are.  Celebrities look pretty on the outside but they get where they get because of a pressing desire to be KNOWN, to be LIKED and to be in the center of all things.  I met a lot of famous people in my life and they are f-ed up for the most part.  Their job is to look pretty and be fabulous. You can be a talented singer, actress, or writer but still have huge personality issues and a horrid sense of self.  Do not be fooled, happiness does not come with fame or money.  Happiness comes with loving who you are…and knowing that you are a unique soul.  So celebrate who you are. 

Also…don’t be fooled that the addition of the perfect boyfriend or whatnot will make you happier or better or something along those lines.  Love is a wonderful thing...but that other person in your life will not make you whole or perfect.  You have to like/love who you are and know that you are the prize.  Don't let someone you love manipulate you into anything.  Be strong in who you are.

Kvetch

 

I have the best ideas for writing blog posts when I'm in my car.  Then they disappear when I'm in the house....but here's what I remember...

I work with a lot of people who are younger than me.  I was born in 64 and according to what I've seen...I am at the tail end of the baby boomers.  My friend Mark E and I often talk about how our generation was lost...we are supposed to be boomers...we are supposed to be Gen X...but actually...we are nothing.  We are like the lost weekend of generations.

Some of the 20 something kids I work with are completely perplexed at my vocabulary and even more by TV shows and historical events I may mention.  I just don't get that.  Maybe it's because I've always been interested in history but I always understood most things older people I worked with were talking about.  But if I talk about some major historical event from my lifetime...they are like wa???

Okay...Petticoat Junction is not an important historical event...but still...

My young friends are perplexed by simple words like "ingenue" or "mendacity" and don't even get me started on Yiddish...they don't know kvetch or oy vay or verklempt.  It's such a sad state of affairs.  Maybe their parents didn't tell them to look words up they didn't understand. 

Once I made a reference to the Cuban Missile Crisis and one of the girls didn't know WHAT THAT WAS.  I was shocked.  I dare not mention Chappaquiddick!  I was almost afraid to ask them if they knew about the Korean War or Vietnam for fear they would say...I have no clue...

However they know shortcuts in word and excel that I have no clue about...LOL...

Heading into 2008

Well...I'm here to say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008.

It was quite a year. 

I bought a condo...I got a healthy raise and two performance awards.  I'm doing much better at work...the only bad part is management isn't all I'd like it to be.

I took more classes at my gym...worked with a trainer and a nutritionist.  I'm not sure I weigh less but I know what I need to do. And my body is a little more toned.  Although w/all the bad food I'm eating...I do feel a bit stuffed right now.

We went to Buffalo Wings Factory tonight.  I went with my friend Rob and his girls, Sam, Missy and Missy's friend Kate.  Caitlin their cousin was also in attendance.  She loves wings...especially hot ones.  Buffalo Wings Factory has a sauce called "the flatliner"

Caitlin ordered the flatliner wings.  When they came...she took a small nibble and said...nope...too hot can't do it.  So she ordered just hot wings.  Caitlin is a little dramatic...so all of us I think thought she was being overly dramatic about the hotness.

Since I've decided to take more risks in 08...I decided I had to try the wings.

A long time ago...some of my friends from work were at Greevy's.  Our friend Kevin brought these small peppers for Pete.  Pete was my roommate and he ate super hot stuff all the time.  Pete ate one of the peppers and said...not that hot.

Now I am always trying to "run with the big boys".  So I decided if Pete could eat one of these peppers...so could I.  So I chomped one down.  And then I drank every single drink left on the table and then I ordered milk.

So my track record of eating hot stuff is not good.  But I went forward with taking a chomp of one wing.

And then immediately removing it from my mouth.

I couldn't taste chicken...all I could taste was HOT and it got hotter the longer it was in my mouth.  My lips got all red.  It was awful.  It was like a CHEMICAL taste.

I got home just in time...my stomach was all bleck.

It was pretty funny though.  And is my first big risk of 2008.

And my first stupid ass thing I did.  LOL...

Holiday Thoughts

This is how classy my work party was...this was my holiday gift from the gift swap.

I found this pairing humorous...Hugh Hefner's girls next to...the Golden Girls...who are about Hefner's age.  Holiday shopping is such fun.

Other thoughts in my head...can I afford to go to Monaco in 2008?  I really, really want to go...and I should.  My friend Karl is there...but it's expensive. If I get my bonus...and a good tax check...and a raise...it should be do-able.

I had the thought that 2008 should be a year I do new things...take skating lessons...maybe a boxing class...I don't know what else. I want traveling overseas to be a part of that.

My friend Karl...who I am going to visit...his Dad has been ill and the other day the thought came into my head...I think Karl's Dad has died.  I sent Karl a note today...since he told me his Dad was ill I check in every other week.  Plus...I wondered if anyone in Monaco had inflatable Christmas yard ornaments.  And he wrote me back to say his father had passed away.

If only I could be so intuitive about things in my personal life...

So I end up with a Beethoven bust...which I really almost bought because I've wanted it ever since I saw a Beethoven bust sitting on Schroder's piano in Peanuts...and get this...

they had more than one...

The end of an Era

My Dad started riding motorcycles back in the 70's.  It irked my mom...especially the Christmas he cracked his ribs falling off the bike and couldn't help her put the Christmas stuff out (I was a little girl and Santa still visited me).  Back then if you rode a bike...people thought you were a bad ass.  But then a daredevil came along and people started to get excited about bike riding.

I wasn't a huge fan of Evel Knievel...jumping over stuff and crashing I found somewhat stupid.  He did hold your attention...you didn't want to miss one of his stunts.  He was everywhere in that super patriotic jumpsuit.  There were movies about his life...he tried to make a movie...and there were Evel Knievel toys and stuff all over the place when I was a kid.

Evel was a unique person that sprang out of the 60's and bloomed into an American icon.  Can you imagine someone like Evel rising up today?  No way would he have been able to jump over all those things and shatter his body...you know people would have sued over something...the world is a much more regimented place these days...Evel was a unique 70's pop figure.

The 70's was a time all kinds of wacky stuff happened.  Popular 70's culture was very shiny and bright...with a dark underbelly.  And so was Evel.  On the surface he was a daredevil but underneath he had a serious drinking problem...which lead to a serious diabetes problem...and he had a liver transplant.

The man lived hard and fast...and he brought something unique to the American scene.  He was a showman...a huckster...a bad boy trying to make a little money and entertain people.

Peace out Evel...there will never be another like you...

Wha?

Today on the BBC I heard an interview with a doctor who has written a book about heroin withdrawal.  His contention is that it's no worse getting off heroin than having the flu.

They had a statement from an addict describing his symptoms...cramps...diarrhea...and the doctor was like...well...that's not so bad.  A bit of cramps...

It totally cracked me up this morning.

Heroin withdrawal...it's just like having the flu.  The English are so understated.

Purple Toupee

I really don't like American Idol.  Most of my friends watch at the beginning to see the people that can't sing.  To me...this is not funny.  It's horrid.  I'd rather be poked in the eye with an ice pick than watch these episodes. 

It's just not my cup o tea.

But...while listening to LINCOLN by THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS...I had a fantasy...

I would love to have a contestant come in and sing a TMBG song...

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, Kiss me, Son of God
I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, Kiss me, Son of God
I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, Kiss me, Son of God
Yes a world screams, Kiss me, Son of God

I would LOVE to see the look on Simon's face during that song...

Geniuses...those guys are geniuses...

It continues on...

Yesterday I drove over to the Petsmart in Leesburg to pick up some Kidney Diet food for Mickey. 

And guess what?

You have to have a prescription to buy this food.

I looked at the clerk and said...

"Honestly...who would spend this kind of money on cat food unless you cat has this issue?"

So...tomorrow I'll have to call my vet and go all the way out to Stream Valley to get more cat food.

Oy vay.

On a high note...I put up my Christmas decorations...

In Which I Talk about my cat, Mickey

I am sitting here, having missed the "bodysculpting" class at the gym I was thinking about taking, waiting for a call from my vet.

I woke up yesterday and heard Mickey hacking.  Cats do this at time...they throw up food or hairballs...but only foam came out of Mickey yesterday.  And he didn't want me to touch his belly or be picked up.  When I came back from my parents, he was super needy, sitting in my lap all night.  I thought it was because he missed me.  Now I think he might have been feeling icky.

So I called the vet and took him in.  The vet thinks he has kidney disease, which is normal in older cats. 

He also has something in his tummy which they are watching.  And they are waiting for results from a thyroid test.  The vet said he had lost 2 lbs from the last time he was in to see the vet which is sort of a big deal.  Cats don't have a lot of room to lose weight like that.  If you're 15 lbs and you lost 2 lbs...that's drastic.

I called this morning and he had a good night.  The technician who answered the phone said she thought he ate.  Yesterday he didn't want any food in the A.M....which is not usual for him at all. He loves his food.  When I got home from the holiday, I fed him and Tootsie.  As usual, he ate his food and whatever Tootsie left in her bowl.

So...I am waiting to hear what's up.  Tootsie, the other evil cat residing in my home, fights with Mickey all the time.  I though she'd be loving life since the other cat in her life was missing and she could get all the attention.  But she keeps waiting for him to pop up...so I can tell she's confused.

Maybe she'll be nicer to him when he gets home.

Or not.

Did you perform your civic duty?