Tonight I sat down and began watching Pearl Jam Twenty. It's weird how something like a documentary can take you back in time and make you remember your youth.
When you are in your twenties...you just can't imagine who you'll be when you're 40. It seems so far away. When you are in your forties, you think...why didn't I do more stupid stuff...take more risks. And then you turn around and look at people in their twenties and you feel a weird sort of anger and understanding that they just don't get about you. It's almost like they are on one continent and you are on another.
I hadn't thought about the 90's in a good while. I had a huge social life and I was just out there in a way I haven't been in so long it almost seems like it didn't ever happen. It was good for me to remember how I used to feel since I work with a lot of twenty somethings and if I can remind myself who I used to be...maybe I can be a better person for them to work with. And maybe I can't work through my weird anger/ambivilance about aging.
My Dad always says...it's better than the alternative. That doesn't make it easy.
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