The majority of my life I've struggled with my weight. Looking back I can't help but think it really was partially in my head. If I could go back to the size I was in high school or college, I would be ecstatic.
However, I remember shopping for clothes my entire life in the chubby department and I wore patent leather sunday shoes until I was 13 or 14 because I had wide feet. I still have wide feet but somehow I've been able to wear B width shoes.
I can remember my first diet, which I did with my aunt. I counted calories and I can still see the little calorie counter book, with a woman in a bathing suit on the inside back page, standing on her tip toes to look slimmer.
Since then, I've continue to stress over my weight and struggle. I was 128 at one time and I for a good amount of time I was in the 130 - 140 weight category. But since the late 90's I ballooned up and I've been wearing size 20's again.
I have been doing Weight Watchers for several months but now I've started a diet that is very strict but that many women my age have found successful. But it's not easy and all I can do is to stress to myself that I can do this.
I'm also trying to do it without telling a lot of people about the "diet". I have a friend who is also doing the same diet, which is really saving me because I can talk to her when things get rough. But in July I will be on travel and I'm not sure how I'm going to keep true to my diet and not make a big deal about it.
This is not going to be easy.